a quote for posterity

"A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying that he is wiser today than yesterday."
-Jonathan Swift

I don't trust our government

Not one branch of it. Not one bit.

i need some encouragement

And when I think that God, his Son not sparing,
sent him to die, I scarce can take it in.
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
he bled and died, to take away my sin.

When Christ shall come with shouts of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart!
Then I shall bow in humble adoration,
and there proclaim, "MY GOD, HOW GREAT THOU ART!"

Then sings my soul, my Savior, God, to thee,
"How great thou art!
How great thou art!"
Then sings my soul, my Savior, God, to thee,
"How great thou art!
How great thou art!"

A thought

I have problems with being 'out of myself.' I believe that's where my performance anxiety comes from, that's where my social anxiety stems from. I've been looking for a way out for a very long time, I've been looking for a remedy to both of those (and more issues, like a fear of getting too 'personal' in public, or even sometimes in private with only one or two people) for so long. Like, I want to be able to perform musically and have a really good time doing it. I want to be able to dance and sing loud, and even act (to some extent. I have no interest in being a professional actor - but it takes acting to make music videos, doesn't it?). I have so many fears that, when you really think through it, are very irrational. Despite what someone may tell me to make me 'feel better', it is very irrational to fear having people see what's deep inside of you. CAUSE EVERYONE WANTS THAT! Everyone wants to be known, no one WANTS to feel like a fraud or like they have to wear a disguise in front of everyone. Granted, everyone also wants to be loved for who they really are - after they've been exposed and the disguise has been removed. And life isn't fair, you don't always receive acceptance after that kind of emotional de-pants-ing. But is it such a bad thing, not being loved by people when they've seen the real 'you'? I mean...let's be honest. Most people are unloving anyway. So why should I fear that they won't love me after I've let them see deep inside of me, when they probably wouldn't have really loved me regardless??

I think the answer boils down to humility. It's an issue of wanting to be praised; if I don't need praise from people, I can do whatever I am compelled by love and by God to do, without fear of reprisal. 'Cause people are gonna chastise whether you do good or bad, or whether you play or sing well or terribly. If it's never good enough for them anyway, and the bar has been set higher than I'll ever be able to reach, then why am I worried about trying to reach it? To quote Victor -

'Does your problem have a solution?'
'Yes, it has a solution.'
'Then it has a solution. What are you worried about?'

'Does your problem have a solution?'
'No, it has no solution.'
'Then you have no control over it. Why worry about something that you can't control?'

I've never been in a band that has gigged. I haven't had much interest in gigging anyway. But I think that has more to do with my fear of exposing my fragile self to people (hence, my performance anxiety) than it does with not having too much interest in playing shows. So I need to tackle this...

Resolutions for the rest of this year:

1. Start singing with the part-singers at church.
2. Sing in the studio, have someone record me and my music instead of recording myself.
3. Play guitar in the studio, have someone record my music.
4. Give the welcome at church.

Interesting, I like the way this lady talks. Thought someone else might as well. www.thefinalword.tv

My favorite quote is from her "Pastor Worship" vid: "I have one Master, I have one Father, I have one Teacher, and his name is Jesus Christ, and I am going to serve my brethren in humility."

"We are not here for the things of this world, we are here to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ to you."

I also saw another great video this morning (because our website was down and I couldn't do any of my work!!). Run For Your Life

Enjoy!! And have a great Wednesday.

IT'S THE LONDON SOUND!!!

That's it, that's what I've been looking for. Classic New York and L.A. mixing styles have some great distinguishing techniques, but I've been trying to use those techniques to get mixes that have been lacking a certain je ne sais quoi, a particular spontaneous 'life' of their own. It's the "London Sound," I've been chasing it like a... like a Green Beret... in like, the jungle or something. Trying to get Charlie. In a war.

"It's very hard to find a Vietnamese man named Charlie, they're all named Nguyen or Tran..."
"Well, how are you going about it?"
"Well, we walk up to someone and say, 'Are you the enemy?' And, if they say yes, then we shoot them."

Anyways, check out Seal's "Get It Together" and, of course, everyone knows Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart." Compare with Van Halen's self-titled album (LA style) and Living Colour's "Cult of Personality" (New York style). I'm thinking that the London Sound is becoming much more prominent in pop music (but a lot of pop music these days is coming from England, isn't it? Check out Adele, James Morrison), even in music coming out of the US. With distinct little sound worlds that change between verses, prechoruses, choruses, etc., I think it's better able to engage the relatively short attention spans of our generation. A few too many TV Program-commercials-TV Program-commercials ad nauseum cycles, a few too many iPods and portable jukeboxes, far too many internet ads, and far too many things to do have made a lot of us very impatient when it comes to listening to new music.
That's enough of my tirade!

Have a great Thursday!